“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I’ll be 35 this year and that’s a question I finally figured out. When I was 18, I flew planes. I still beam when I see a Cessna152. Then 9/11 happened. I moved to California and did outside sales making six figures at the young age of 19. I then got married, moved and became a loan officer, moved again and became a realtor, moved again and did a job creating business plans and financial forecast for owners. Then I started my own company. Pretty scary but as the years have gone by, I felt so blessed because I’ve been able to open up, share my story, heal, grow, help women to love themselves and balance their hormones, and that’s the part I love the MOST-working with women.
I don’t care about the fitness industry. I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong in it (aside from my wardrobe being a 100 percent active wear, of course ?) because I know working out and diets don’t make women happy.
Learning to love yourself, learning to accept your body, nourishing your body, being active in the ways that you want -roller-skating anyone?- and making cookies with your kids. That’s where true happiness comes from.
So, I’m buying an apartment building with my hard earned savings and I’m retiring. I’m going to adventure with my kids, bake cookies, travel the world, skydive, volunteer at my local community, go to PTA meetings (OK probably not the PTA meetings), and if I want to avoid social media for a month and live in the jungle with my kids, I will.
I’m simply going to be me.
The only thing I’m going to miss is you. You amazing women who have purchased my programs and supported me and my little family. Who have cried with me and messaged me your trials and triumphs.
From the bottom of my heart thank you. The years of support are appreciated more than I can express in a post.
Now, I want to share a few things that I’ve learned over the past few years that have brought me to this specific spot because I know a lot of people will be thinking, “what? You can’t retire. You’re only 35! Holy cow, how did you do this? How did you get there?”
So I wanted to share 3 tips specifically, that can change the trajectory of your life, and help you work towards living your most authentic self and your most authentic dreams and life.
Tip number one: No one needs to understand or agree with your decisions. Live and be yourself.
Now, this is a really hard one.
I feel like it’s something that as women we struggle with. All the people pleasing, trying to be perfect, and wanting everyone to like us. Especially our girlfriends and our family. It’s hard because we live in a society where people are constantly judging us, are constantly criticizing our every move, what we’re doing, what we’re thinking, what we’re saying, and what we’re wearing.
One of the interesting things that I’ve learned while working with women, is that a lot of them will express to me what they want to do with their life, or how they want to live, how they want to change their job, and/or do something different or travel. And when I ask them, “great! Why aren’t you doing it?” It so often comes to, “I just can’t, and what are people going to say, and what’s my family going to think?”
We are so chained to this concept of not pleasing other people or disappointing people, especially the people that love us the most, that we will set aside our dreams in order to not disappoint them or ruffle any feathers. Something that I’ve learned through years of experience and working with so many women that actually HAVE followed their dreams, started their own business, moved out of the country, or travel with their kids, is that you can’t please everyone, even if you’re doing what you think is exactly perfect.
The fact is, we’re all so different. We all value different things. We all want different things. We’re all passionate about different things and because of that, we’re not going to agree. We’re not going to always agree on everything in everyone’s life.
And that’s OK.
One of the greatest things I ever did was to realize that “those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind”. The most important people in your life, even if they don’t understand it, will love and support you. So stop living for other people and start thinking about what YOU want. What’s going to make you and your family happy? What decisions will really make you the best and most authentic version of yourself? And go live it. And go be it. And understand, just like I have, that you’re never going to please anyone anyways, so you might as well be doing what makes you the happiest.
Number two, manifest your dreams.
So this is a big tip and it comes with a lot of questions that I want you to sit and ask yourself…
Do you ever sit down and think, and hopefully even write out, what you want in life?
Do you think about how you spend your time and what you really want to spend your time doing?
How do you want to cultivate or create new hobbies or talents? Do you ever sit and think about these things or write these out?
So many of us don’t.
We so often go through our lives as zombies, just mindlessly moving, mindlessly doing, mindlessly getting up and finishing that to do list, and doing laundry and running kids to practice, that we don’t take the time to really sit and think about our dreams. So I challenge you to do that. I want you to sit down and I want you to think and write, what do you want in your life? What do you want to spend your time doing? What is something, whether it’s a hobby or a talent, that you want to focus more time and attention on?
If you can’t narrow this down, if you haven’t actually stopped to think and ask yourself, then, of course, your dreams aren’t going to come true because you don’t even know what you’re working towards.
Which brings me to my third and final tip: I want you to make a goal list of what you want in your life, what you’re dreaming of.
I want you to make that list, and after you make that list, I want you to decide and pick one goal and break that goal down. Your goal is the finish line. What are some steps to get you to that finish line? So for example, maybe your goal is to find a new job. Maybe it’s retiring like I’m doing. Maybe it’s moving. Maybe it’s starting a new hobby, whatever it is, without a plan, you’ll always be thinking, “yeah this would be nice, but in my dreams.” The truth is everyone’s dream was once just a thought.
My dream of retiring and spending more time with my kids, or even my dream when I started my business, that was once just a thought, an idea, until I decided to make it happen. I implemented little micro goals to get me to the finish line. So once you pick the goals you want to focus on, break it down to get to that finish line.
It’s just like if you wanted to cook a dinner. You need to break it down. You need to drive to the grocery store, get the ingredients, prep and cook them.
There are steps to get you to that final goal. Your dreams are the exact same thing.
If your dream is to get a different job, if your dream is to start a new hobby, if your dream is to heal your hormones, if your dream is to move out of the country, whatever your dream is, that’s just like making dinner. You break down the goal into micro goals, into smaller steps that you can do to get you towards your dreams, to get you towards that end goal.
Your dreams don’t just miraculously happen. You have to be focused on the goal and those micro goals.
I’m retiring at 35, and it’s because I took the time to figure out the little micro goals and steps I needed to get here. You can do the same. Take the time to figure out your end goals, and the steps needed to get there. It is so incredibly worth it.
As an added bonus, my amazing friend and COO that many of you know, Connie, has an incredible free 5- day manifesting challenge that she created, to help women, just like you manifest their dreams. She has a unique perspective on manifesting and teaches things that you’ve never heard of before. I highly recommend you check her free 5-Day Manifesting Challenge by clicking HERE.
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